What Really Matters

STORY

This past weekend, I was a part of, attended, and celebrated one of my best friend’s weddings. I had the honor of being one of the many close family and friends that played a role in solidifying their union.

If you know me personally, I’m not the mushy, heartfelt type of dude. Some would say I’m the complete opposite; and they’d probably be correct. I’ve always been a “man of few words,” someone who lets my actions do the talking. Again, if you know me, I’m only that way until I have to make a point or correct something. That said, I do want to take a few to acknowledge my buddy Ian before I get into today’s topic:

For the longest time, I resented the idea of a higher power in any form; especially after losing my dad. But somehow, from the pit I was in, you… for lack of a better phrase, came out of nowhere and forced me to be your friend. And I couldn’t be more grateful that you did. I found a path again, and you had a huge part in that. We’ve had a couple of bumps in the road over the years, but overall, I couldn’t ask for a better brother.

I’m gonna apologize now for the fact that this is coming out late; and through a newsletter. But you know me, gotta do things on my own terms, and probably not in the most conventional way. Yet here we are. Love ya, man. I wish you both the best.

So, while I was standing behind the groom, listening to the officiant talk about what it takes to build a lasting marriage. And of course love was mentioned; what caught my attention was that he highlighted effort and progression as key pieces. I’m obviously leaving out a few details here, but this stuck with me. And it relates directly to your training.

From athletes to regular gym-goers, the focus often gets stuck on exercise selection and overall routine. That stuff matters, yes; especially when you're chasing a goal. But what matters more than anything is the effort you’re putting in over the long run, with a consistent eye on progression, whatever that looks like for you.

Stop stressing about what the latest “science-based” influencer or “hardcore” fitness motivator is doing. You can (and should) put some thought into your programming (or… just hire someone 👀). The point is, I’m just advising you not to overthink it. Pick something. Put real effort into executing it. Then make sure you’re seeing measurable progress over time. Usually, reevaluate every 4–6 weeks.

Effort and Progress > Selection and Split.

EXERCISE

The upright row is a vertical pulling movement that targets the deltoids, traps, and upper back. Essentially the musculature involved in shoulder elevation and scapular movement.

Form Keys:

Common Mistakes:

Alternatives:

Why It Matters: Builds Shoulder and Upper Back Strength | Great for Posture & Aesthetics | Enhances clinch strength | Pummeling Ability | Upper-Body Control | In Standing Grappling or Tie-ups.

Upright rows can be effective — if done correctly. Stick to moderate weight, clean form, and a safe range of motion.

FOODS

Beans Are Underrated:
Beans are a powerhouse for health and performance. They’re high in fiber, protein, vitamins, minerals, and complex carbs.

Benefits:

A Few Good Choices:

Beans should be a staple for both the everyday person and the high-performing athlete. Affordable, accessible, and powerful for long-term health and performance.

MINDSET

At the end of the day, whether in marriage, training, or life. The value is in consistent effort and forward movement. Not perfection. Not the “perfect plan.” Just showing up with purpose, doing the work, and choosing to grow. Progress isn’t always flashy, and effort doesn’t always feel exciting; but they’re both non-negotiable if you want something real and lasting.

So whatever you’re chasing: results in the gym, discipline in your routine, or becoming a better version of yourself; lock in, stay focused, and keep moving forward.

Effort and Progress. That’s the mindset. Always.

Thank you,

Stephen Holmes Founder, Linking Performance & The Weekly Standard