The Day I Almost Quit

STORY

The Mind In The Ruck

I’d be lying through my teeth if I told you there was never a time I wanted to quit. That every time I was struggling I would just power through with ease. To be completely honest with you, I’ve wanted to quit many times, in many different situations. Most of the time it’s your normal run of the mill bad day. Yet, there are a couple specific times that took me pretty dang close to calling it quits. Let me tell you about one:

The first experience happened back in November of 2014, when I was just 21 years old.
Being the “youngish” buck that I was, and in my last couple weeks of Marine Corps boot camp, I was counting down the days. If you didn’t know, the Corps has a final test for recruits before they’ll bestow the title Marine—and that test is the Crucible.

It’s a sort of “hell week,” if you will—a 54 to 60-hour event designed to test how well you operate as both a leader and a team player. This is determined by your ability to finish with minimal sleep, food, and water—all while conducting maneuvers, solving obstacles, and enduring both physical and mental battles.

At this point, you might be thinking I cracked because of the lack of food. And yes, I was starving the whole time—we only had two meals-ready-to-eat (MREs), and they were consolidated down. But that’s a story for another time.

But no… I cracked during that second morning of the crucible.

Now I’m not flexing on anyone when I say that up until that point, bootcamp wasn’t all that tough. I chalk that up to being at a decent fitness level and older than the typical recruit—or maybe I was lucky, who knows.

So, what happened on that second morning?

The day before, we were going through those maneuvers and obstacle courses I mentioned—starting at our usual wake-up time of 0500 and going until sometime past midnight. Eventually, I found myself in a huge group of recruits, sitting on the cold concrete floor of a massive warehouse.

We were then instructed to clean our rifles. Which doesn’t sound too bad—until you realize they were intentionally sleep-depriving us with a monotonous task. We were made to stay awake and clean those rifles for about five hours.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not myself when I’m sleep-deprived. There aren’t enough Snickers bars in the world to fix me.🍫

Unfortunately, I wish I could say that’s where I broke. But it was what came after.

Around 0500 or 0600, they stood our disoriented young minds up and had us begin the final ruck. This was happening down in the hills of Camp Pendleton, California. The end goal? To reach the Reaper—a steep hill that, once climbed, marks the moment you officially become a Marine.

But a few hours into that ruck, my mind broke.

The Marine Corps has a term—going internal—that they warn you about. It’s when you start giving up inside, whether from self-doubt, exhaustion, or anxiety. For me, it was a healthy mix of all three.

I started slowing down, getting angry, even yelling out, “I’m done!”

During these rucks, we’re supposed to maintain vocal cadence. And to this day, I don’t think anyone actually heard me.

Looking back, that breakdown probably only lasted about 10 to 20 minutes—but in the moment, it felt like an eternity.

I’m not even sure what exactly brought me back. I just remember looking across the trail at the other line of recruits, then looking up and seeing the sky start to glow with the early sunrise.

And in that moment, something clicked.

I’d made it this far. I was tougher than I’d been even 24 hours earlier. If I quit now... I’d never know what could’ve been.

And what kind of example would that be? For the guys around me? For my family? For myself?

So I readjusted my rifle sling, picked my head up, fixed my stride, and fell back into cadence.

I finished that ruck.

And at the top of the Reaper, I earned the title: United States Marine.

EXERCISE

The Farmers Carries

One of the most brutally simple, yet underused tools in any program.

Why:

-Builds grip like a vice—for grapplers, lifters, or unexpected cliffside emergencies | Engages mainly traps, core, glutes—with a total-body tension | Trains posture under fatigue | Teaches resilience through discomfort.

How:

-2–4 rounds | Anywhere from 20–60 feet carries would be a good distance | Keep posture tall, pronounced (puffed) chest, core braced, and walk with intention | Rest until grip and breath reset—or feel good enough to grip again | Load should challenge you and your grip—but not break it instantly (too heavy).

Avoid:

-Shoulders rolled forward (shrug up and back slightly to lock traps) | Rushing the walk—this is time-under-tension, not cardio | Letting the load you’re holding slam into your thighs—Hold them as still while moving.

Progressions:

-Suitcase carries (one-sided) | Trap bar carries | Fat grip/axle variations | Uphill walks.

SUPPLEMENT

Creatine Monohydrate

By now, you’ve probably heard of creatine. Either hyped up or called out.
No matter what’s been said, the research on it is hard to ignore.

Creatine monohydrate is one of the most researched, proven, and reliable supplements out there when it comes to just about anything performance related. From strength, power, muscle growth, and even brain power.
You do consume a bit if you’re a meat eater—but not typically enough to be substantial.
Supplementing boosts your muscle stores so you can train harder, recover better, and actually feel the difference:

-Increases phosphocreatine stores in muscles, helping regenerate ATP (energy currency for short, intense efforts).

-Enhances strength, power output, and workout capacity.

-Promotes muscle growth by increasing water content in muscle cells (cell volume) and supporting protein synthesis.

 Boosts Strength & Power – Ideal for weightlifting, sprinting, and high-intensity training.
 Increases Muscle Mass – Supports hypertrophy over time with training.
 Improves Recovery – May reduce muscle damage and soreness.

Safe & Well-Researched – No harmful effects in healthy individuals at recommended doses.

Cognitive benefits – That’s right, brain gains.

How and When:

• 3–5g (up to 10g) daily, no need to cycle or do a “loading phase”

• Stay well hydrated throughout the day

• Doesn't matter if it's pre- or post-workout—consistency > timing. Just take it everyday

  Take with:

• Carbs/Protein (enhances uptake with insulin response).

• Post-Workout (but timing isn’t critical—consistency matters most).

Side Effects:

Water Retention (mostly intramuscular, not bloating).

Stomach Upset (if taken in large doses without enough water).

No proven harm to kidneys/liver in healthy users.

Brand:
Look for Creapure® ^{(Creapure® is a premium, German-made form of creatine monohydrate, known for its high purity (99.99%) and superior manufacturing standards.)} or NSF-certified options—pure, effective, no fillers.

Bottom Line

One of the few supplements with years of strong scientific backing for performance, muscle gains, and cognitive function. Cheap, safe, and effective for most people. If your training feels stuck, your sleep’s decent, and your protein’s dialed—creatine might be your missing piece.

MINDSET

Perseverance

There will be days the weight feels too heavy.

Sometimes it’s steel. Sometimes it’s stress. Sometimes it’s self-doubt.

Carry it anyway.

Not for the results—
But for the reminder:

You’re still in it.

Testimonials:

 See You In The Next: UNMASKED

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Thank you,

Stephen Holmes Founder, Linking Performance & The Weekly Standard